Five rarities of nonsense

Crack a cookie. Receive wisdom. Question it.

Every fortune in here is gloriously silly and freshly written. Pull rare ones, hoard them all, and come back daily for one more.

The rarity ladder

Same cookie, wildly different energy. Odds are fixed and rolled server-side.

Common
60% drop

Plain paper, honest nonsense.

Rare
25% drop

A cool blue shimmer.

Epic
10% drop

Purple, and slightly smug.

Legendary
4.5% drop

Gold foil. Radiating rays.

Mythic
0.5% drop

Iridescent. Barely legal.

How the hoarding works

Crack the demo

Play with the hero cookie as much as you like. No account, no saving.

Claim one a day

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Build the collection

Every fortune you pull is filed by rarity, with streaks and stats to show off.

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Fortune Hoard — fortunes are fictional, bums are itchy.